Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Food Crises

In recent months we have witnessed doubling or even tripling of the prices of common food items and ingredients in the country. This is attributed to the world-wide food shortage. Its in the papers, TV channels are showing ‘Badti kimto ki maar’, restaurants have reprinted their menus, and sizes of samosas and dosas have shrunken. The US president is making statements over it, common men are talking about it in offices, women are discussing it in markets and kitchens, and politicians are defending it. But I am unwary and carefree. Thanks to my fast-food and packed food habits.

For the rest of the country its time to analyze and save food, for me it’s the time to thank McD, KFC, Dominos and their alike. (For convenience I will call all these restaurants/companies, which provide us addictive and yummy food, as McD-KFC)

My Lays chips cost Rs. 10, the same as before. The zinger Rs. 65, McChicken Rs. 55. Fruit and Nut chocolate Rs. 80, cone ice cream Rs. 25, Maggie noodles Rs 11, Tropicana Apple juice Rs. 84. The price, quantity and goodness unaffected.

My grandmother had always told me to avoid McD-KFCs as they are unhealthy and expensive. Don’t think she believes the same anymore. Today millions of IT professionals and students in the country are claiming the benefits of McD-KFCs.

It's time for the Government to pitch-in support for the fast-food companies and give them grants, subsidies and relax all taxes for they are the ones who can bale us out of the food crises. I request the Central and State governments to pay 20% of the salaries to its employees in form of coupons usable at McD-KFCs.

Thanks to McD-KFCs we eat world-class burgers, fries etc. at national prices in lavish, attractive, air-conditioned setups. Look at the people in these restaurants as they bite into their burgers - savoring, smiling, chatting. All signs of a happy time.

Additionally these restaurants are open 11am-11pm without the beak for our convenience. Do you get haryali kababs and butter nun at 4pm, or pav-bhaji at 10 am in your city? McD-KFCs have several outlets in all major cities catering millions of Indians. The taste and prices of their menu-items are consistent allover.

Research by Pitu labs has shown that fast-food helps reduced stress levels in humans. Much required relief to over-used IT employees and over-burdened university students. Further Pitu labs has statistical evidence to prove that a regular-restaurant dumps about 10kgs (4kgs uncooked, 6kgs cooked) of food every day. And ‘we’ pay for what goes in the waste-bins.

Imagine the amount of food wasted in all restaurants all over the country in a year. Wouldn’t that be enough to feed the entire population of one of the small African counties for a month? Have you been a culprit in leaving behind curry, biryani-rice or pieces of rotis? Well! It’s not entirely the fault of the consumer; blame it on the improper cooking, inconsistent taste and quantity.

No one leaves a gram of bread or a minuscule chicken piece at a McD-KFC. Additionally, the way the food is served requires minimal washing of dishes, again saving on precious water and the environmentally harmful cleaning liquids. No one has suffered food-poisoning at a McD-KFC. It takes 20 mins less time to have a meal at McD-KFC in comparison with a local restaurant, and the food gets into your hands within 5 mins of you entering the restaurant. A combination of these factors leaves more time for work and study.

McD-KFCs we love you.

5 Comments:

Blogger Govind said...

Cool man...esp. the study by Pitu Labs...

Only if u had added some numbers to the reports - that would have made it more authentic.

Like:
Research by Pitu labs has shown that fast-food helps reduced stress levels by 26.5% in humans.

12:48 AM  
Blogger Abhimanyu Seth said...

Great piece of writing! Hilarious! I love McD!!!

10:12 PM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Well, if you are good at Math, you can calculate how much to eat at McD from this:
http://app.mcdonalds.com/countries/usa/food/nutrition/categories/nutritionfacts.pdf

12:20 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Keeping the american junk that they serve aside, no doubt they are tasty, but if i want to have something indian.. i have no other place to go.

9:25 AM  
Blogger Anuj said...

I like this stuff, hope everyone starts thinking the same way, especially those restaurant owners serving Biryanis.

2:45 PM  

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